This ClashBang.com article was written by Chris Chu. Tired of privately venting his frustration in vain, Chris decided to share his discontent with the rest of the world.

This ClashBang.com article was written by Chris Chu. Tired of privately venting his frustration in vain, Chris decided to share his discontent with the rest of the world.

Why is it that people, upon presenting you with a watch*, tell you to “wear it in good health”?

I could provide the Irish blessing for good luck as the definitive answer to this question, but of course, here’s my take on it:

That watch they just bought you cost an arm and a leg. If something terrible were to happen to you health-wise, you’d have to pawn it for the medical bills (or if you die, it’ll be passed on). Therefore, if you were not to wear it in good health, their present would not stay with you and thus meaningless.

* By the way, a watch is kind of a bad present. A watch/clock means your time is nigh.

This ClashBang.com article was written by Chris Chu. Tired of privately venting his frustration in vain, Chris decided to share his discontent with the rest of the world.

Reading tax law now

Why is it so difficult?

I wish I were smart.

This ClashBang.com article was written by Chris Chu. Tired of privately venting his frustration in vain, Chris decided to share his discontent with the rest of the world.

These fundamentals were developed in a checkout line in Wal-Mart:

• Rule #1: The costume needs to be either cheap enough to be disposable, or it needs to be something you can wear again. No sense dropping a lot of money for something you only wear for a few hours.
• Rule #2: The costume needs to allow for freedom of movement. As cool as it is to be a lighthouse, a bulky costume simply is impractical for the modern Halloween party. At worst it renders you unapproachable.
• Rule #3: The costume needs to be something others would like to be photographed with. This way you don’t need to carry your own camera, and others will remember you for your wit — or at least publicize it far and wide across their Facebook circle. Examples include Jesus and *ahem* Waldo.
• (Unofficial Rule #4: It shouldn’t take more than a sentence to explain your costume. If anything, people should recognize you right away without any hints).

Uphold these rules and your Halloween costume will never fail.

This ClashBang.com article was written by Chris Chu. Tired of privately venting his frustration in vain, Chris decided to share his discontent with the rest of the world.