I did a lot of silly things in my [tag]youth[/tag]. How was I suppose to know that if I left my tricycle behind my mothers car that she would run over it? Or if I licked a shopping cart in the winter, that my tounge would get stuck to it. I was two, no one ever told me otherwise. I was a hilarious [tag]child[/tag], and I think that I need to share some of my creative stories with the world through a series of creative blog entries.

Let me take you back to the year of [tag]1989[/tag], the world population was 5,128,046,585. I was at the tender age of two. My first memory is of being at my paternal grandparents during the summer, running around outside and playing in a tent. Then I remember standing on a concrete slab and really having to pee. I was unable to find my mother, so I peed on the corner of the concrete slab. I next remember being on my changing table, and then being put in my crib with my beloved key bear which I still need to sleep with every night, and my favorite doll Jammie Pie, which I also still have. Growing up my mother worked, I was pawned off on whichever family member would take me. I can remember being bored out of my mind at my grandparents, coloring in one bugs bunny coloring book, playing with a spin top, a sesame street dinky car, and looking through catologues. I got awefully bored. I also remember being at my great parents, they lived right next to a park, and had a dog named after Ginger from the hit 80’s TV show “Dallas”. I use to play hide and seek with her, and hide in her hall closet every time. She use to call my daddy a jackass, and i would yell at her.

My favorite day of the week was Saturday. With Saturday morning cartoons of the Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles how could any child not be content. When I was two, I was certain that when I grew up that I was going to marry Bugs Bunny and be a cartoon. I was sad little girl when I realized that my dream was never going to come true. I had a life size teddy bear of Bugs Bunny, who unfortunatly met his match when my sister came to terrorize the world. Saturday was also my bath day. I had all kinds of bath toys, along with bath foam Barbie, bath crayons and the signature yellow rubber ducky, I made sure of it that I was the cleanest kid on the block. After bath time I would always enjoy watching America’s Funniest Home Videos (the Bob Saget Version) while eating some chips out of a sour cream container, and pop of of my tupperwear sippy cup. Little did my mother know that those treats would send me on a downhill sprial towards a lifetime of stress eating junkfood. Before going to be every night my mother always use to read me my favorite book, Peter Rabbit (I guess as a kid a really liked bunnies.) She also use to skip pages thinking that i wouldn’t realize, but she didn’t raise no fool.I use to live for going to the barn with my father after supper. I remember the time when he was feeding the horses, and I found horse poop on the ground. At the time I did not know what it was, so I picked it up and took it to daddy and asked him what it was. I also remember having this yellow winter hat that had a bill on it, when I wore it I went from being a cute little two year old, to a duck. I use to quack, and say “Ima Duck, Quack.” I also remember sitting in my carseat a lot, listening to the radio and playing with my viewmaster like toy camera that had zoo animals. I have long lost that camera but let me tell you, I almost shit myself when I found a picture of it. I also remember the playroom in sunday school had the same one. I remember this one song that was always played, and it was none other then “1999″ by Prince. I also had my two best friends, my long hair tabby cat named Max, and my neighbor Laurie. Max was hit by a car in fall of 2001, and Laurie moved away when I was five, and I lost contact with her. In 1990, my sister was born and the world as I knew it came crashing down all around me. Sure I adjusted but it was hard and difficult, but I managed to overcome the obstacles she brought into my life.

Stay tuned for Melissa + 2 siblings in 13 Months + Kindergarden.

This ClashBang.com article was written by Melissa Montgomery. Melissa is intensely awesome, and pretty rocking.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 11th, 2007 at 7:55 pm and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.